South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
