It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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