Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
