She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Randomize
