Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
It's just like the Real World with babies
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
