fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
