We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
