...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Last time i carry you out of a forest
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
