You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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