Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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