i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
