I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
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Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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