Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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