Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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