you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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