Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
