It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Boobs are out for the taking
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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