Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
