I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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