Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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