I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize