Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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