wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
