I'm gonna have a badass scar
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
