Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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