He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
