and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
