I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
