Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
