The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Watching her eat just hurts me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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