Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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