i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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