Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
