We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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