when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
