i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
