If i come over, it means nothing
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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