I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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