so explain again why im purple
no
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
