we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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