she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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