Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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