Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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