I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
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She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
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just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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