You're a womanizer and a bitch.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
