Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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