i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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