Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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