We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
