Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he thought i was a dude.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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