Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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