I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
