just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
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I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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