Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize