i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
