does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
