haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
