she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
