Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
